I have five children.
All from the same woman.
The oldest is 16. Then 14, 11, 8 — and the youngest is only 4.
We’ve been together for 17 years. Engagement, marriage, life. And even though I always say that family comes first, the truth is hard to admit:
I’ve never been the husband or the father they deserved.
A Life Spent on the Road
I’ve been a truck driver since I was 22.
My entire life has been highways and terminals. Weeks away. Sleeping wherever I could. Eating whatever was available. Coming home only to shower, sleep a few hours, and leave again.
My wife carried everything on her back.
Early mornings.
School runs.
Cooking.
Housework.
Illnesses.
Parent-teacher meetings.
Problems I never even knew about.
Everything.
And me?
I’d ask if the kids were okay.
If there were bills to pay.
Then I’d leave again.
I never stopped to think how exhausted she was.
Until now.
The Sentence That Froze Me
A week ago, while we were folding laundry, she said — without looking at me:
“I think it’s time I live for myself. I’ve already done my part.”
At first, I thought she meant a trip. Or a break.
She didn’t.
She said she wants to leave.
She wants to live alone.
And the worst part?
She wants to leave without the children.
What She Finally Said Out Loud
She told me she’s tired of living for others.
Tired of waiting for me.
Tired of feeling like a single parent.
Tired of my mistakes.
Yes — my mistakes.
The ones I never wanted to fully admit:
The conversations with women on the road.
The flirting at terminals.
The messages I always called “nothing serious.”
They weren’t nothing to her.
They broke something inside her.
“I Don’t Have Anything Left to Give”
She said she no longer has the strength to stay in a relationship where she always gives more.
She needs silence.
Peace.
Time for herself.
And she knows that with my job, I can’t give her that.
She said she wants to leave — but she doesn’t want to “take” the kids.
She said it almost like she was doing me a favor.
It paralyzed me.
I Love Them — But I’m Terrified
Yes, I love my children.
But how do I take care of five kids alone while working as a truck driver?
What do I do with a four-year-old if I get an emergency call for a job?
How do I leave an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old alone?
How do you run a home when your whole life has been on the road?
Since that day, I haven’t slept.
She’s still here — quiet, distant, like she’s already halfway gone.
Standing in the Same House, Miles Apart
We move around each other without fights.
Without accusations.
But also without warmth.
I’ve thought a lot.
I understand that she’s exhausted.
That she gave everything — and more.
But I also know this:
I don’t want to lose her.
I don’t want her to leave.
And I don’t want our children to be abandoned — because none of this is their fault.
And Here’s the Truth I’m Afraid to Say Out Loud
I know how to drive a truck.
But I don’t know how to run a home.
I don’t know whether to fight for her.
Whether to let her go.
Whether to ask her to get help.
Whether to accept the children even though I have no idea how I’ll manage.
So I’m asking — honestly:
What would you do if you were me?